Alien abduction and encounters with young children is a subject that has come up before in the alien/ufo community, but appears to be growing in number from the personal accounts posted on several forums and testimony given by multiple witnesses to the phenomena. It is a subject which tends to make some members uncomfortable, possibly because of the ramifications if this event is occurring. After all, It is one thing to be an adult and to possibly have these experiences, but a protective urge comes out in all of us when our children are threatened or being harmed in some way. Perhaps it is easier to put it down to a 'bad dream' then to deal with the consequences of a possible alien abduction of a child.

While the phenomena is not new, the occurances appear to be increasing, as countless parents report that the dreams that their children are having are similar in nature to abduction and encounter accounts. More and more chlidren are speaking of beings who come into their room, their play area, to contact them; sometimes even taking them 'through the ceiling' or 'into a light'. The young ones recount instances of strong 'beams' and sounds coming through their windows, some actually describe the beings in detail and draw their own renditions of them. Imagination? Exposure to the media's concept of alien encounters? Yet too many of the accounts speak of children who have had little, if any exposure to ufos and alien life forms through the media or any other source. Their parents, who may have formerly brushed off these supposed 'fantasies' of their young children, are now turning to the alien/ufo community for answers as the mainstream medical and psychiatric disciplines fail to give them relief or a solution to the problem.

Studies have found that this phenomena is not only occurring but increasing; and as to the validity of the chidlren's stories, according to many researchers, the following can be said:
'Children seem to react differently to their alleged abduction experiences than adult claimants. Many alleged adult experiencers report doubting their own perceptions or the veracity of what they believed happened to them. Children, by contrast, never seem to doubt that their experiences happened to them. For an adult, an abduction experience can challenge much of what they believe about the world. Children however, by virtue of being in a formative stage of development, more readily assimilate the experience into their developing worldview.

Many repeat-abductees report that, as children from the ages of 2-6, they would be visited by balls of light that would enter their room at night. These balls would seem to play games with children and fly around the room. Some have interpreted them as being a way for the alleged abductees to develop their psychic abilities the way a physical ball helps develop coordination and athletic abilities. As such these intangible orbs have been dubbed "psychic toys."

Several drawings illustrate alien activities on children, including immersion in vats of liquid.'

http://naturalplane.blogspot.com/2009/07/child-reports-often-feature-very.html

A fascinating video from South Africa depicts interviews with 62 children who had an encounter with possible extra-terrestrials. After exhaustive investigation, it was determined that there was no mass hallucination; these children were telling the truth.
UFO 62 Children's Alien Encounter over South Africa

Many members of the medical profession have come forward and made statemebs about the abductions phenomema and a large consensus agrees that there is little, if any, psychosis involved in these sightings and encounters.

"UFO abductions are not a rare phenomenon and have been estimated to have occurred to three-million Americans. There is a remarkably precise correspondence to the reports. Abductees exhibit relatively little psychopathology."

From The UFO Abduction Phenomenon: What Does it Mean for the Transformation of Human Consciousness? by John E. Mack, M.D.
From Psychology Today:
'Psychological tests confirm that abductees are rarely psychotic or mentally ill. Some 3 million Americans believe they've encountered bright lights and incurred strange bodily marks indicative of a possible encounter with aliens, according to a recent poll.'

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/%5Byyyy%5D%5Bmm%5D/%5Btitle-raw%5D

A recent case study in the MUFON files is disturbing for many reasons:
June 2010
'This particular morning, he came to me visibly upset,” the woman said, describing how her son came to her crying and “telling me he dreamed about aliens… I would never take him seriously normally but this morning and the way he acted made me listen.” Below is an excerpt from the unedited MUFON report:
He began to tell me that (in his dream) he woke up and a little gray men took him with them out the door and took him on their ship. The gray men had big black eyes and when I asked about the nose he pushed his up, and into his face, I’m thinking to make it look like there wasn’t much of one except for holes, maybe?

I asked him about their hands and he said their fingers looked long like sticks.
He said the ship was silver with yellow, green and white lights. He said it was a ball with a ring around it…He said they took him to the moon.

He told me they were talking in whispers and he remembered them telling him to “Stay…. stay with us.” He kept repeating that. He said he was scared and told them to take him home to Mommy.'

http://mysteriousuniverse.org/2010/09/robbing-the-cradle-aliens-who-abduct-children/

As studies have found that abduction is possibly multi-generational, is it conceivable that the possible abductees are more aware of the 'eymptoms' that may accompany these encounters? Or are these 'dreams' that these children are having so evident of alien interaction that it cannot be ignored? And, if the latter is the case, then does this lend credibility to the concept that these contacts with the children are increasing?

"Solutions" abound, from 'thought screen helmets' to the concept of these children being some sort of 'star chlidren', to subjecting the child to hypnotherapy to 'remember more', none of which the average parent of a child who has had an encounter is inclined to subsribe to.

Unfortunately, in many cases, there is little rational support for either the parent or the child; experiencers are left to post on multiple forums and hope that they are not ridiculed and maybe find another like mind...at hit or miss proposition at best. Perhaps it is up to other experiencers of this phenomena to seek out others and help each other as best they can through an upsetting and often traumatic occurance.

From our new writer at Alieneight: Ben Worthen

I remember when I was younger (9-10 years old) just starting to form my opinions of things like Alien existence.  Oddly drawn to all things which were unknown and unproven, yet, fearful, as though I knew it was real.

Watching shows like “Unsolved Mysteries”, and then later the “X-files”, and as I moved into adulthood, seeing documentaries of Roswell, reading books which included the Christopher Columbus Unidentified Submerged Object account during his voyage to the Americas. These experiences ignited within me a desire to know the truth.

As life followed, I found it increasingly difficult to spend time reading about aliens, and connecting the dots so to speak.  I fell into crowds where believing in aliens might well alienate me from my “friends”. I became heavily involved in discussions which felt taboo, but only every once in a long while.  The fanaticism with which Alien believers portrayed their beliefs was off-putting to me. My religious upbringing kept me from going too far away from the accepted beliefs of my church.  I still had a desire to find out the truth, but my belief was trending towards that of a non-believer.  After all, the only fascinating stories of alien encounters were unsubstantiated frenzied stories from uneducated hillbillies in back country areas of poor regions around the world.  The descriptions of “aliens” were so varied and different that it was hard to take them seriously.  Yes there were nagging bits of information that left the imagination to run wild, but nothing was concrete enough to prove anything.

The brain is a powerful thing.  It can perhaps dream up ideas of what we want to see, and “make” us see those things.  We could be fooled perhaps by our views of what was interesting, or of what we fear.  Did I just see a ghost? Did I just feel something behind me in this dark house?  Was that light in the sky that just disappeared, a UFO?  Why can’t I remember what happened on that long stretch of highway?  Does all the military secrecy mean that there are UFO’s at Area 51?  What about the stories I hear?

I dismissed the idea as something too farfetched to be reality.

And then it happened.  Over the course of four months time, I had what I believe to be, at minimum 12 separate alien encounters between myself and several other friends.  I had seen what all those uneducated, back woods “liars” had seen.  The “fire in the sky”, the “Greys”, the “reptilians”, and I KNEW that what I was seeing was not fake.  It was not staged.  It was NOT a figment of my imagination. I was not the only person involved.  I was from an upper middle class neighborhood in Southern California, I didn’t even know any rednecks, and I couldn’t possibly be convinced that what had happened to me was not real.

I was no longer a skeptic.  In fact, the only thing to this day that I am skeptical about is whether or not to share my experiences.  Would people believe me? Would I continue to believe myself when faced with retelling of these events?  Would I be able to maintain my position in my career, my life, and also tell people with the conviction that I have, that Aliens exist?  Would I alienate myself from the other parts of my life and lifestyle?

With regards to Aliens, the fear I have is more of respect than anything.  I cannot say I am not scared of the things I have seen or experienced, but I don’t feel helpless.  I have seen enough to never question it, but only enough to pique my interest.  I have experienced enough to scare me, but only enough to make me want to find out more.

I don’t have an abduction story.  I have never been probed.  I have never been violated by an alien life form on a ship somewhere. I don’t think I have at least, but somewhere inside me, I know that there is hidden within my defense mechanisms and the deep crevasses of my mind and memory, more than what I now know. Somewhere inside me, part of my stories that I do decide to tell, aren’t complete.  Like I can’t remember, or it’s too tough to talk about.

I have experienced time loss (dramatically so, provable by timestamps, travel records, gas receipts, and mileage readings), I have seen things I cannot explain like shape shifting, and I have come face to face with multiple types of aliens. Or at least that’s what I believe.

I want to share these experiences with you so you can take from it, what truth you want to believe, and leave behind those things you may feel are too fantastical to believe…

Alien Abduction The McPherson Tape, also known as Alien Abduction Incident in Lake County is a video that is supposedly a re-enactment of an alien abduction of the McPherson family in Montana. The video has more than one version, with the first showing up on UPN network in January 1998.

Alien Abduction The McPherson Tape is done in the same style of video as the Blair Witch Product, which makes it seem more realistic. The way it starts, the family is gathered around getting ready to celebrate Thanksgiving when the power goes off and three of the brothers go to investigate. They find the aliens and the aliens follow them home. What follows from there is that the aliens and the family get into a fight and the family is ultimately abducted, never to be seen again.

While Alien Abduction The McPherson Tape appears to be faked, it is said to loosely depict a real abduction that took place in August of 1955, then the home of Billy Rae Taylor was attacked by a bunch of aliens known as the Greys. The family survives unscathed, and was interrogated by authorities and found to be drug free and sane.

Others have suggested that the Alien Abduction The McPherson Tape was influenced by a book called, “Mysteries of the Unknown: The UFO Phenomenon” which also has incidents in it that are similar to the movie.
When the movie first came out, many people thought it was real, and some still do. There has been controversy about this due to the way it was presented, plus, in some markets it was aired without credits, which made it impossible to see that actors were playing the parts of the family and the aliens.

In time, Alien Abduction The McPherson Tape was proven to be fake, in part due to a conversation with the Lake County Sheriff’s office in Montana proving that no one names McPherson had even lived in that area during the timeframe the family was supposedly abducted by the aliens.

To this day, people are still arguing about the authenticity of Alien Abduction The McPherson Tape, but the evidence appears to point to it being an elaborate hoax. However, it is an interesting look at alien abduction and is real enough to have frightened many viewers.

As we come up to the fiftieth anniversary of the famous Betty and Barney Hill alien abduction event, this baffling phenomena is due a closer look. Do we have enough information to even give a competent guess as to the motives behind the phenomena? Are these reported events even extraterrestrial in nature?

Reports of attempts by UFO crews to grab humans are not particularly new. One of the earliest reported cases was from Stockton, California in 1897 when Colonel H.G. Shaw and a companion were harassed and had to fight off three tall, humanoid beings that had emerged from a circular aircraft as the men were traveling in the mountains. However, the incidence of "alien abductions" did not begin to pick up in earnest until the 1960's. "Alien abductions" are a worldwide phenomena although most reports, over 95%, do occur in the English speaking countries of the world, most notably the United States.

There are several primary beliefs as to what may be behind these terrifying events; and terrifying they are as medical "experiments" and the helplessness of capture by unknown entities are consistent throughout the abduction phenomena. One theory involves the possibility that we are being harvested for our genetic material. It is thought that either the aliens need to rejuvenate their own kind or that they require a crossbred variety of themselves that can more easily live on this planet or pass undiscovered among us.

Another school of thought is that the supposed aliens are, in fact, actually another terrestrial species that has chosen to remain aloof from humans. It is speculated that these creatures are the basis for the old myths of "elves" and "fairies;" other mysterious creatures that have a history of abducting humans for their own nefarious means. The more theologically minded feel these creatures are actually demons of some sort who are attempting to steal a victim's soul instead of capturing them for physical genetic material.

Another theory that is quite popular is that rather than alien beings, the abductors are really humans from the future. It is believed that at some point humanity will have become genetically impoverished and have had to develop a way to replenish their diminished viability with genetic material from a distant past relative.

The one fact that is incontrovertible is that we have no way of knowing which, if any, of the above scenarios is actually the cause of abduction reports. We know that many people report experiencing this phenomenon. We know that they have similar psychological problems develop from their experience. There are cases where it seems physical evidence is left, both as scars and as metallic "implants" left in their bodies. Many thousands of people merely "disappear" every year. It cannot all be explained as runaways or serial killers. When some of these people come back and report about what happened to them, it does behoove us to pay a bit more attention. Something is happening to them and it is a serious matter.

A most disturbing aspect of the alien question is the ever increasing insistence of abduction and biological testing on humans by beings not of this world. Skeptics insist these reports are merely delusional folk seeking some notoriety from bizarre stories or just mentally disturbed. There is, however, one aspect of the abduction reports that has taken a physical form that can be investigated. Since the abduction phenomena began to grow in the 1960' and 70's there has also grown the matter of strange objects being implanted in the bodies of these unfortunate people.

These implants are not a fantasy. A fair number of them have been surgically removed and analyzed by reputable laboratories including the prestigious Los Alamos National Labs. Such people as the Californian podiatrist, Roger Leir, and UFO researcher Dr. John Mack have removed dozens of implants from alien abductees over the years. The objects are small and are usually inserted far up the nasal cavity but also found in other parts of the body. The material of the implants usually consists of "An interestingly twisted fiber consisting of carbon, silicon, oxygen, no nitrogen, and traces of other elements" according to Dr. Mack. As the "usually" implies, there have been several distinctively different types found and removed.

These anomalous objects are often first discovered when a person has been X-rayed, most usually during dental examinations. Not only are the objects metallic but are often surrounded by their own small electro-magnetic field. When removed, they are often found to be encased in a protective membrane and many are connected to nerve endings or nerve bundles, causing great pain upon removal even when the patient has been anesthetized. Thus far no progress has been made towards discovering how these objects may work or to what purpose they serve those who initially placed them inside their victims.

The purpose of these implants is a much-discussed topic. The most popular hypothesis is that they are merely tracking devices of some sort to make it easier for the "tagged" person to be found and their status and condition updated when desired. This may not necessarily be the case as a few people who have had their implants removed still suffer subsequent abduction events. Another possibility is that they are some form of monitoring device, much like the devices our own scientists use to keep track of the health and processes of our own planetary species. For the more paranoid, it has been suggested the implants are used to implement mind control over the victim.

There are a few certainties about these implants. They are in no way naturally occurring objects in a human body and rarely does the bearer of such a device remember the process by which it came to be in them. The phenomena came to light long before the idea of micro-chipping pets, and ultimately all humans, began to be implemented by our own scientists and government, it may in fact be what gave them the idea. To our common knowledge we have no understanding of what technology creates or manipulates these devices. All we do know for sure is that they only appear in people who also claim to be victims of alien abduction so the chances of a mundane Earthly origin is slim.

There are many Alien abduction victims who believe that they were left with some kind of implanted device, these are usually small and theorized to be used for purposes of tracking and mind-control. Some allege that the implants are biological in nature and are embedded within their own DNA strands; this idea is particularly believed by a group of family members that have been abducted through several generations in connection with ongoing Alien genetic experimentation.

While having routine X-Rays and MRIs, alleged Alien abduction victims oft-times discover these unexplainable objects in their bodies. The doctors have no explanation as to how these objects came to be there. When placed under hypnosis and abductee will often describe in detail certain operations in which a needle is inserted into the brain.

Implants can be found in the brain, leg, hand or ear. Some are able to be removed with little to now resulting injury; others simply cannot due to prohibitive locations. Of course it does depend upon the location of the device in the body. Sometimes these implants can dislodge over a periods of time.

There have been numerous implants that have been removed and carefully studied. They are generally quite small, at only about 1/16 inches in thickness and up to about 1 inch long. It is usually wire-shaped and has a complex structure with many layers when examined under electron microscope. The implants, according to tests, are comprised of various metals.

The allegation of Alien implantation was first reported in 1967. Betty Andreasson from Massachusetts described a tiny ball of spikes that had been placed inside her nose after an alleged abduction by Aliens. Soon after, the claim of implantation began to proliferate.

Some of the alleged implants have been recovered by surgical means. Some look like shards of glass, others like carbon fiber. None of these were found in the nose or brain; they were usually removed from a toe, the knee, hand or shin. Some of these have been accompanied by scars and some have not.

The burden of proof lies with the advocated of the belief in Alien abduction and implantation, not on the skeptics who do not believe in it. This is a burden which they, to this day, have not met. The concept of implantation, not unlike the larger Alien abduction phenomenon, simply does not have the necessary evidence to support the theory and make it accepted as reality. It is, as evidenced, simply part of an ever-evolving mythology of UFOs. The theme is of entities having influence over humans. This is seen in many different variations that range from ancient myth to modern science fiction of today. This will undoubtedly persist in popular culture.

The concept of Aliens abducting, experimenting and implanting devices inside us is truly scary. If the Alien implants are truly of extraterrestrial origin, we can only hope that they can someday offer information and clues about what or who their creators are, and also give us an idea of their intentions.

In 1998, The UPN network presented a documentary titled Alien Abduction: Incident in Lake County in which depicts the McPherson family being abducted by Aliens. This recreation of a supposed real tape was filmed using home video to give the appearance of the taping of actual events and has thus led to confusion about its validity. The question remains of where the real tape, if there is one, can be found.

The tape tells the story of the McPherson family gathered for Thanksgiving dinner. The camera is situated in Tommy’s left hand. The power goes out. Kurt and Brian go to check the fuses; Tommy follows with his camera. Brian makes attempts to open the box and gets burned. A transformer atop a pole down the road is throwing sparks. Tommy’s camera finds eerie lights in the woods. They go investigate.

They find a UFO in a field nearby. Two aliens exit the ship and zap some cows with ray guns. The boys rush back to the house. The men gather some shotguns. Suddenly, there a high-pitched noise and everyone but six-year-old Rose is affected. After strapping a flashlight to his gun barrel, Kurt grabs some keys. He is going to get the SUV and they are all going to leave.

Kurt goes outside; Tommy follows. The truck doesn’t start. They try to check the engine, but a light flashes starts smoking. He opens the hood to discover a melted battery. They return to the house. The family is gathered in the living room. Crawling sounds are head on the roof. Kurt leads the way up the stairs, where he is greeted by laser blasts and responds with shotgun blasts. He tells everyone to go downstairs.

A ball of light comes into the house and knocks Renee into a deep sleep. The men leave to find help. The tape jumps ahead an hour and they suffer some lost time. Gunshots can be heard outside and the power starts to flicker. Everyone starts feeling a burning sensation on the backs of their necks. They discover triangle-shaped burns.

Everyone is now hysterical as more shots can be heard outside. Tommy goes outside to discover a couple of mangled shotguns but not his brothers. The camera turns to the woods where we can see strange lights and two figures approaching. Everyone goes back in the house; they barricade the door. The camera is set down and the picture goes black.

Tommy then gives a tearful testimonial and wonders if he’ll live to see tomorrow. He searches all the rooms and his bedroom and then suddenly comes face-to-face with an alien. He drops and we see Tommy frozen in a trance-like state. The tape stops. The family and their guests haven’t been seen since.

The tape is a depiction of a supposedly real incident; the actors’ credits roll at the end. There are many components from pop-culture’s alien abduction scenario and that makes this tape a bit suspicious. Whatever you believe, this is an eerie and highly entertaining piece of footage.

The belief that extraterrestrial beings have traveled to Earth from another planet to conduct reproductive experiments is widely held. Despite its incredible nature and the lack of supporting evidence, the belief has its believers. The believers hold as truth that there was an alien crash-landing. It is also held as fact that the alien craft recovered there along with its occupants have been hidden and the evidence covered-up.

UFO sightings have been on the rise and, as some believe, this is due to the increased number of Alien beings actively visiting the Earth for research and experimentation of the various forms of life found here. They leave their marks in the form of crop circles, they are responsible for the mutilation of cattle and they are known to provide revelations to selected individuals who are chosen as prophets. But, most importantly, they abduct human beings in order to create alien-human hybrids for purposes of preservation of their species and ours.

The initial story of alien abduction that spawned the beliefs is the Betty and Barney Hill story. They claimed to have been abducted by aliens in September of 1961. During a series of nightmares, Betty “recalled” her abduction experience and subsequently shared the information with Barney. Barney made similar claims of abduction thereafter in which he described the alien beings taking samples of his sperm. Betty recounted how they aliens had used a needle in her abdomen for purposes unknown, but though it to have been for the removal of ova. She guided curious people to the landing site where only she could see the aliens and their space craft. Under hypnosis, Barney recalled seeing an alien that had a rather unusual feature; “wraparound eyes.” Twelve days before, a similar being was featured in a televised episode of “The Outer Limits.”

Since that first accounting of the alien abduction phenomenon, there have been numerous similar reportings around the globe. The story is usually a variation on the same original accounting. Under hypnosis, counseling and psychotherapy, the “victims” can usually recount very vivid memories and detailed information about their experiences. There have been only minor changes such as scarring and device implanting. This phenomenon is most common is English speaking countries, and some of the details of the abductions will vary according to the hoe culture of the alleged abductee.

Research studies have concluded that the “victims” in these stories have similar personality traits that make them more susceptible to belief in the fantastic and surreal. Experiences where Alien abductees are held firm in their beds by some unseen force can be attributed to a condition known as sleep paralysis wherein a person is aware and awake but unable to move. Sleep paralysis can also be experienced in conjunction with hallucinations in sufferers and 40% of all people will experience this frightening ordeal at least once in their lifetime.

Are aliens abducting humans for reasons of species propagation? Or are these victims simply experiencing an occurrence with a reasonable scientific explanation? Whether or not you believe the victims or the science is up to you.

In 1947, in New Mexico, a radio operator receives a signal following patterns and while investigating the occurrence, he vanishes. In the present day, the same signal is transmitted from a base on the Falkland Islands to the United States, and a satellite captures images of an unknown object in Antarctica. The cryptologist Julien Rome is invited to investigate the mystery in the South Pole, and he flies to a research base. While a team tries to open a weird shell probably from outer space, Julien solves the message.
Because Sci-Fi's “Showdown at Area 51” was not enough, The Asylum brings us another exciting rip-off in anticipation of “AVP R”. Since the “Alien vs. Predator” sequel is set in a small American town, “Alien v Hunter” is set in a small American town. After some helicopter shots, we are treated to a middle-aged man jogging, completely oblivious to a huge smoking object crashing behind him. From there we are introduced to an alien and a “hunter” and people die and run around and shoot at stuff.

This particular effort is punctuated by some nice derivative designs. The alien resembles Giger's “Alien” (except for the whole spider thing) and the hunter is a safe re-imagining of the "Predator". In this respect The Asylum have really outdone themselves. This kind of production design could really have helped them on movies like “Alien Abduction”.

The characters are a real low point, though. Our heroes have a few very superficial clichés that pass for character and they are played off one another in a way that makes you wish the monsters would win. There is some solace in watching people get killed off, but it was never the ones we really wanted dead.

We are almost used to these quirks by now, even the worst one of never quite getting everything in frame. It is odd watching these because the little flashes of competence give you the feeling that it would have been a solid movie if only they bothered to get the coverage. However, down to brass tax, this thing advertises itself on its special effects and there really is not anything wrong with those. In addition, the film wisely avoids much reference to “Alien vs. Hunter” and instead liberally rips off the original “Alien”, “Predator” and “Aliens”.

Without giving anything away, the final twist is irritating. Apart from this, “Alien vs. Hunter” is an essential for any fan of The Asylum.

Aliens are known to be quite enamored of our species, and because of that they will stop at nothing to breed with us, experiment on us, perform terrible mind tricks and test us in our altered states of reality and if that doesn’t beat all, they’ll erase our memories of the events and do a shoddy job of it. If you suspect for any reason that you have been the victim of alien abduction, you need to read through this list of symptoms very carefully. Here are the signs of alien abduction that everyone should be aware of.

(1) Have you experienced any periods of missing time? Periods that cannot be accounted for? (Not to be confused for high time, borrowed time, bed time, overtime, killing time or the like…)

(2) Do you have any odd markings, unusual scars, designs or wounds for which you have no explanation? Of the many signs of alien abduction, this is probably the most important.)

(3) Have you or are you currently having flying, levitating, falling or floating dreams? And if so, is it your belief that Aliens were responsible? If you can’t recall, skip to number 4.

(4) Do you give credence to spurious information being posited as credible science?

(5) Do you feel as though you are the special chosen one; chosen by some unknown cosmic entity and appointed to save the planet and all of its inhabitants? Or, have you felt the compelling desire to join environmental groups who have the same “save the planet” mentality?

(6) Have you been receiving telepathic messages or channeling entities that claim to be the High Priest of some such planet, or the Overlord of All Mankind? Or do you believe Cher, Elvis, Queen Elizabeth and Michael Jackson are reptilian invaders?

(7) Do you find yourself spending too much time in the shower dreaming about the mother ship?

(8) Do you believe that you can safeguard your thoughts from Alien Super-beings by wearing hats made from tin foil?

(9) Have you experienced any highly vivid or lucid dreams in which you could not move your extremities and were completely helpless while being probed by beings of unknown origin, which had a penchant for making insensitive remarks about your private areas?

(10) Do you recall having been given a tour of crying, green-skinned, twelve-eyed babies in a nursery and being informed that they were yours?

(11) Are you unable to control your urge to surf the net for websites on the unexplained, mysterious and unsolved? Do you root around their forums looking for other people who show signs of alien abduction and find yourself posting information as if you personally knew the aliens yourself?

If you show any or all of these signs of alien abduction, you should know that it is very serious. You are probably being repeatedly abducted and probed and sexually assaulted by some Alien life forms looking for a way to take over the planet. There’s nothing you can do.